Important, Not Urgent: The Things That Don’t Shout but Matter Most

In my last blog, Breaking Up with Busy, I wrote about my long, slightly complicated relationship with urgency. That constant need to be doing, delivering, achieving. What’s become clearer since is how much that pattern shows up not just for me, but for almost everyone I work with.

We’re always on. Always busy. Our calendars are full, our heads are noisy and even when we stop, it takes a while for the hum to fade.

And what I notice, in myself and in so many of my clients, is that when we’re living in that “always on” state, it’s incredibly hard to give time to the things that sit in that quiet corner of the Eisenhower matrix: Important, but not urgent.

The long-term investments.

The things that will really matter to us down the line, but don’t necessarily shout for our attention right now.

For me, those things are my relationship with my kids and husband, my health and my development.

And here’s the honest bit - it’s often easier to respond to the work request, the email, or the favour from a friend. Those things come with immediate reward: a sense of usefulness, of being needed, of progress. The important-but-not-urgent stuff rarely gives us that. No one claps when you go for a walk instead of answering emails. No one thanks you for getting an early night. Your kids don’t send you a calendar invite to sit on the floor and build Lego and present you with a balance scorecard at the end of the year.

It’s the long game.

But what I’ve started to realise is that if I don’t put those things first - consciously, intentionally, deliberately - then I’m making a trade I’ll regret later. I can give the best of my energy to other people’s priorities, but what about mine?

So I’ve been experimenting with flipping that.

When I catch myself saying, “I just need to finish this first,” I try (not always successfully) to pause and ask: what’s really important here? Will this email matter in five years’ time? Probably not. Will how my kids remember me showing up for them? Definitely.

That doesn’t mean work isn’t important, of course it is. But I’m learning that I can’t keep borrowing energy from my future self to pay for today’s sense of accomplishment.

And I see this all the time with clients.

People who care deeply, who want to make a difference, but who’ve been wired to respond, to achieve, to prove. They tell me about how they want to focus on their health, or their relationships, or their development and then laugh, slightly guiltily, because it’s always “the thing I’ll get to when things calm down.”

Only things rarely calm down on their own.

So this is where I’m focusing right now: how to bring urgency to the things that are important but not urgent. The things that don’t have deadlines but deserve them. The things that don’t shout but whisper and are easy to miss if you’re not listening.

Sometimes that looks like blocking time for a walk before I open my laptop. Sometimes it’s leaving my phone in a draw so I can be properly present with my kids. Sometimes it’s saying no to something that would make me look “busy” but not fulfilled.

And what I’ve noticed? When I put energy into those things first, everything else feels lighter. The busy still comes, but it’s no longer running the show.

So that’s where I am right now - still exploring, still figuring it out, but noticing the difference when I choose to prioritise what I’ll value down the line, not just what’s shouting loudest in the moment.

I’d love to hear how this shows up for you too. What helps you stay connected to the important, not just the urgent?