Job hunting is basically dating (just with fewer cocktails and more CVs)
If you’ve ever found yourself swiping through LinkedIn looking for the perfect role, the way you once (or still) swiped through Tinder, you’re not alone. Looking for a job can feel uncannily like looking for love. Both are full of hopeful scrolling, occasional ghosting and the eternal question: Is it me?
I spent my late 20s and early 30s doing two things intensely - dating and recruiting.
Strangely enough, the advice I gave to candidates in my day job turned out to be exactly what I needed in my love life, too. I was helping others prepare for interviews, encouraging them to know their value, be clear on what they wanted and to definitely not settle for less than they deserved.
Meanwhile, in my own dating life, I hadn’t yet applied that same wisdom. I kept saying yes to things that weren’t right for me. I was in reaction, not in choice. It wasn’t until I took my own advice - got clear on my value, my needs and what I truly wanted (and deserved) that things started to shift.
So, after years of first dates and thousands of CVs, here’s the advice I now give to anyone looking for a new role (and sometimes a new relationship!)
1. Know yourself
Until you figure out who you are and what really matters to you, you’ll keep chasing shiny things that look good on paper but don’t feel right. You need to know:
What you're good at
What you bring to the table
What kind of environment helps you thrive
What you need in return
Without that clarity, it’s easy to get stuck in people-pleasing or chasing someone else's definition of success. It’s not about being chosen, it’s about choosing wisely.
2. Find the right wingman (or wingwoman)
You don’t have to go it alone. Whether you’re on the hunt for a great job or a great relationship, who you have in your corner and where you choose to look makes all the difference.
Consider LinkedIn like a job hunt version of Tinder: a curated profile, a clever headline, and a lot of hopeful applications. And yes, sometimes it does work. You get lucky, spark something meaningful and it turns into a brilliant match. But more often than not, real chemistry and long-term fit come from deeper conversations.
Then there are referrals, like being introduced through a friend who just gets you. Someone says, “I think you two would hit it off” and they’re usually right. There's context, trust and far fewer awkward surprises.
Recruiters? They’re your matchmakers. They’re scanning for compatibility and potential, but they need you to be honest and specific about what you want and you need to trust they have your best intention at heart.
The point is: don’t just fling yourself into every opportunity. Choose your channels with intention. Focus on meaningful connections, not mass outreach. In job hunting, just like in dating, quality always beats quantity.
3. Only accept what you deserve
Not every opportunity deserves your “yes.” If something doesn’t feel aligned or asks you to shrink, compromise your values, or fake it, remember, it’s not for you. Just like in dating, if someone doesn’t see your value or tries to mould you into something else, it’s time to move on.
And don’t forget, you’re allowed a few short-term flings after a long job or career stint. That’s part of figuring out what you want now. Every experience teaches you something useful about what you need, what you deserve.
And when rejection happens (because it will), remind yourself: If they didn’t want the real you, it wasn’t the right match anyway.
As the saying goes:
You accept the love (and the job) you think you deserve.
So, choose wisely. Show up fully. And don’t settle for less.